September 19th, 2018
Happy Birthday to me! Tonight it’s tortellini alfredo and warm rolls for me. I’m a little sad and feeling a bit nostalgic as the birthday tradition of L and I spending the day together is on hold due to my self-employment. It’s ok and we have plans for later. For 6 years, on my birthday, which is also National Talk like a Pirate Day and yes, that is a real thing, we did the same exact thing. And it was great. We would start the day on Sullivan Street Cafe for brunch in Manhattan, where you could get brunch any day of the week. That also meant day drinking, which I looked forward to any time it was deemed even somewhat acceptable. It is also my first sober birthday in a long time. I’ll have my AF beer, commit carbocide by eating all things carby and go to bed knowing I will not feel awful in the morning.
Of course, being a woman, I’m heading into dangerous territory. Otherwise known as the last-call-for-baby-making territory, as my mother is fond of reminding me almost daily. I will admit, that was definitely a motivating factor for giving up drinking. I still have to quit smoking cigarettes which I am extremely anxious about and in turn, makes me want to smoke more cigarettes. I’m also anxious about becoming a mother. Especially with the store and not knowing if or when we will be successful and feeling overwhelmed, the idea of throwing a baby into the mix is somewhat terrifying. With that being said, my body will not care whether or not I was able to hire more staff or if the bank account came out flush that month. If I don’t make the choice to try, I may lose the choice.
150 Days 