It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. I do write and I have notes on my phone for every single day. They are not always coherent notes to anyone but me though and sometimes it’s really just blurbs and highlights of the day or some thoughts I’ve had. I really like the practice actually and I have been finding that it does force me, for some period of time, to stop for a minute and think about the day. It’s not always pretty or even noteworthy (no pun intended) but I think it will be interesting to look back on one day.
However, in the spirit of my unrelenting perfectionism and lists of 1,001 things I didn’t do today (insert eyeroll here) it has been stressing me out a little. I feel like I really want to start posting regularly but I don’t have the time right now to go back and update everything from 2018 and the longer I wait, the longer it becomes, the more there is to update and the cycle continues. Big sigh…
So, while I was at the gym running this morning, I decided to start posting daily and get caught up when I can. That’s it. Problem solved. The perfectionist in me is slightly irate and not happy that the full posts aren’t up. The pragmatist is me feels like this makes the most sense. There is another part of me that feels excited to have a solution and the list maker in me is relieved.
As I write this, it is also making me laugh. Even with a silly little decision, there is this dialouge between all my internal personalities and the needs to be satisfied for each, or dissatisfied, as the case may be. It really makes you aware of the thought process in general. It is also making me wonder how anything ever really gets done.
It’s still too icy to run outside yet so on Sunday mornings I head to the gym. I’m eager to get back to running outside but happy I’ve stuck with it. On Sundays I open the store later so I have time for my long run. Last week I made it to 5 miles but usually I run a 5K, or 3.2 miles. We are expecting another snowstorm tonight but I’m really hoping that Spring makes it way really soon. I’m getting really tired of the cold, gray days and wearing so many layers. On my way back from the gym, the sun came out and I got a picture of this bud waiting patiently to bloom in the midst of all the snow and ice.
It’s been almost a year now since I stopped drinking. It’s become a normal part of life which is nice. I won’t lie and say that I don’t think about it at all or that I don’t want to drink once in awhile but those thoughts are really so fleeting. If I look back and I’m honest with myself, there are so many things that I wouldn’t have done over this past year if I had still been drinking. And one of them is getting to the gym, or the path when the weather is nice, by 7:00am, every single Sunday morning to run. Right now running really helps with my sanity and replaces the “me” time I thought I was taking when I was drinking.
Pro Tip: When you feel really run down, find something that you love to do. It can be anything. The only rule is that it can’t make you feel like total crap in the morning! Lol
And with that, I am going to start my day.
150 Days 