Cravings. Ugh. Cravings can be the worst whether it’s for alcohol, a cigarette, a food, literally anything. As our world changes almost daily and continues to be shaped by the unknown, our anxieties, stress levels and fears amplify these feelings. I’ve been experiencing my own cravings lately and I’m trying to unpack it. I feel that I have built in a lot of tools to help get through but there is something that I keep coming back to. Not all cravings are equal. Nope. When we look for help, or advice about cravings, it’s always with the one word – craving. But I’m noticing that I have different types of cravings. Yes, ultimately it’s always the same, a desire for something but some come with different feelings so I figured I’d put that down here.

I would like to say that I am not a psychologist or a counselor of any sort. Also, many of these ideas are not my own. I have read A LOT of “quit lit” over these last few years and these strategies have been my go-to’s so I wanted to share. I also encourage you to read as much as you can. Check out books and other blogs, there is so, so much information out there.

For me, a big part of handling cravings is to know what motivates you. For years and years I attempted to realign my behaviors with negative reinforcement. In an attempt to stop myself for reaching for my vices I would constantly remind myself of how I was damaging my health, how I felt I appeared to others, feelings of being weak, how much money I was wasting and the list goes on and on and on. Looking back on it, it’s no wonder that I had so many failed attempts. Every time I had a craving I would answer back with a barrage of negative self talk. Now, it was all true but let’s be honest, talk about stress. After all that negativity and anxiety producing self talk I felt that I really needed that drink! For me personally, I respond much better to positive reinforcement. Everyone is different so if preventing damage to your health and being mindful of wasted finances works for you, by all means, go for it! I found that I was able to respond to the positives much more easily and willingly than the negatives. When I first gave up drinking, I was absolutey astounded at how much better I felt. I love being active so the first Sunday morning that I was able to get up early and go for a walk, now a run, it was absolutely exhilarating. I tried to pay attention to how good I felt and remember that feeling and it was so much more motivating.

Stress induced cravings. I have an anxiety disorder so my adrenaline may run a bit higher than most but I find that after a stressful event is when the craving hits the strongest. In my desire to embrace feeling calm my instinct is to reach for something – a beer, a cigarette, or more recently, ice cream. I find this type of craving to actually be the easiest for me to overcome. I don’t know why but I find that I can move on to something else and this type of craving will dissipate rather quickly without much fanfare. For me, handling this can normally be a matter of finding something else to do or focus on and the distraction does the trick.

Positive induced cravings. I feel like there’s a better way to word that but yes, basically anything can trigger a craving, especially earlier on. I think that a lot of times we associate cravings with negative feelings or events but times when you are enjoying yourself, particularly at a party or a quiet night at home, can be just as difficult. For me, the best way to combat these cravings are to remind myself of the benefits and focus on the little things. At the risk of sounding cliche, it really can be the little things that matter. Often times when we are drinking, we loose sight of how enjoyable a nice smelling candle can be. How a certain type of soap smells or feels. How awesome a bubble bath is. If you are at an event or a party, think of how nice it feels to know that you have been in control of everything that you have said and done, you won’t have any second guesses that you behaved in a way that was not authentically you. Also, when I used to have a little alcohol envy I remind myself that the drinker will most likely be feeling the effects the next morning while I’m waking up fresh as a daisy. Ok, I’ll stop with the cliches now. If you have abstained from alcohol for awhile and gone back to drinking you’ll know that even one or two drinks can make you feel a bit hungover.

Habitual cravings. Sometimes it’s just a matter of being in the habit of doing something. Here’s where it’s handy to switch things up and alter your routine in some way. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. Take a different route home from work, take a walk or make something different for dinner. Sometimes even these small changes give us something else to focus on.

The long haul craving. This one gets a little trickier but I think I’m realizing where this comes from. This is when that one pervading though creeps in and just won’t let up. The thought pops up very casually and gets me thinking. I start to ruminate a little bit but enough to be annoying. I can do (insert habit here) later or maybe just one or maybe tomorrow or maybe… JUST STOP. Right there. I think what happens with this scenario is that we are indulging that little voice a little too much. Shut it down! Once you’ve made your decision, stick to it. This is also where decision fatigue comes into play. I think I’ve written about that but yes, it’s a thing. And it’s exhausting and takes up time and so much mental energy. Sometimes playing the scenario out works, start with that first sip or bite or anything and be completely honest about where it’s going to lead. When moderation Mary starts to rear her ugly head, shut her down. If moderation worked for you, odds are you wouldn’t be reading this. Try to come up with something that you will say, something short that you can repeat over and over and over every time these thoughts come up. I’ve used this trick to combat anxiety and it really works for me. It can be as simple as, “No, I’ve made my decision” or something playful or heck, funny. If you’re going to have something rambling around your internal thoughts, make is entertaining! My go to lately is, “Go away, go away don’t come back another day”. Or make something else up entirely for the day, that may provide enough distraction to get you through. I do find having something prepared to say beforehand is helpful in case you just aren’t in the mood or really can’t think that day. It will also become a (good) habit and before you know it when those thoughts creep in, your mind will go on autopilot and you’d be surprised at the automatic response.

Sneak attack. Sometimes a craving can just come out of absolutely nowhere. You’re not sure where it came from and it can be strong as opposed to the fleeting thought. As counter intuitive as this is, I also find these to be more of a punch, once and done kind of thing. It will usually subside pretty quickly for me but if you do find that you are getting caught up in that train of thought and nothing seems to be helping. Delay, delay, delay! Don’t reach. Put it off, tell yourself you’ll wait until tomorrow (it’s ok if you tell a little white lie to yourself) Do something else and you’ll be surprised that a lot of times it will dissipate.

Try to take a step back and look at the big picture. Where do you want to be? Does this behavior fit in with your ultimate goals and lifestyle? How many of us will go for a run or hit the gym, only to pound back a bottle of wine or a 6 pack later that same day? It can be really difficult but try to keep longer term goals in mind and ask yourself if you really want to set yourself back.

Recovery. Welp, what if you went and done it? You slipped up and took that drink, or whatever. What now? Well, the good news is that not all is lost. Use this as a learning moment. Do not use it as an excuse to go to town. You know better than that! And the start again tomorrow argument is never the way to go. We all know how long it may take for that next tomorrow to come, if ever. So, put it behind you, dust yourself off, forgive yourself – you are human, give it some thought and take note of what happened and get right back on that horse my friend.

While cravings may rear its ugly head from time to time, please do not think that sober living is all about handling one craving after the next. That just isn’t true. I felt that this topic was well worth exploring but the positives far outweigh the negatives, even the cravings. Stick with it and you’ll see.